Whose Got Your Back?

Gonca Esendemir and Arzu Esendemir

Do you ever ask yourself that question? As entrepreneurs, oftentimes, we find ourselves entrenched in solitary journeys doing things no one else can truly understand, making sacrifices other people would never make. We lock ourselves in our rooms, offices, apartments or hole up in a local cafe that offers wi-fi, heads buried in our laptops and smartphones. Most of us get by with a steady stream of caffeine and barely any sleep, our minds constantly racing and our hearts anxiously beating. We live for our enterprises and we give up so much to make them successful, to sustain them and grow them. We expend so much passion, energy, frustration, and exhilaration into overcoming the obstacles, battling the challenges, finding solutions and tweaking the concept, that we often get lost in it all. We miss weddings, forget birthdays, cancel plans, don’t have time for dates and then we are chastised for spending more time building our business than building our personal lives. We are judged and criticized and warned against ending up ‘alone’ or friendless. We are told to give up or let it go or make more time for ourselves. The rest of the world doesn’t really get it, so they abandon us. Friends, some family and even significant others abandon you mid-journey because they don’t understand the path you are on or what the purpose of this all is. They think you are choosing career and money over love. They say you don’t care enough. They walk out of your life, but then they want to come back when they finally understand what it was you were doing all those hours you were working so hard. Most often than not, people’s loyalty sways when the going gets tough. They simply walk away, leaving you wondering if they even ever cared at all. 

We know firsthand what it feels like to be abandoned, betrayed and walked away from without so much as a glance. We’ve all been there. We have all been promised the world. We have had massive support when the sun was shining and things were great, but then we heard crickets and watched people exit our lives when the dark times came. We have been there in that lonely, dark place where you wonder if anyone at all has your back. We have been lucky enough to have each other to lean on in those tough times, but for anyone out there who doesn’t have sisters or family or someone who unconditionally supports them- we offer this advice: learn to have your own back. Learn to save yourself. Learn to rely on yourself first and foremost. When people wonder why or how we are so close as sisters, we ask them: well, whose got YOUR back? We have each other’s back unconditionally, in the good times, bad times, ugly times and wonderful times, no questions asked. We don’t walk out on each other. We don’t abandon each other in the difficult times. We celebrate the joys together and we sail the rough seas together. No questions asked. We share the pain and the joy, the laughter and the tears. We lean on each other and we support each other. We’ve got each other’s backs and we never have to question each other’s loyalty. Our success has come from this type of bond. If we didn’t have such a strong relationship built on loyalty, trust and integrity- there is no way we would have been able to travel this treacherous, exciting, and oftentimes, frustrating entrepreneurial road we’ve been on for nearly a decade. 

Arzu Esendemir and Gonca Esendemir
Arzu Esendemir and Gonca Esendemir

Our father told us throughout our youth and still tells us to this day: stick together and you girls can conquer the world, the world won’t conquer you. He couldn’t have been more right. 

Esendemir Sisters: Arzu, Fusun, Gonca
Esendemir Sisters: Arzu, Fusun, Gonca

6 responses to “Whose Got Your Back?”

  1. Donna Avatar

    Awww love this so much!

  2. Damika Irving Avatar
    Damika Irving

    It’s sad to hear that so many people abandoned you when you needed them the most ! I can’t understand why some people do that? It’s obvious that there will be ugly and bad times, so why not stick together and grow stronger in those moments? Why run away like a coward? I would never abandon someone just because of some rough times. Those are the moments when we have the opportunity to grow as people.

  3. Librarylady Avatar

    What a beautiful post. I could definitely relate to your feelings as you talked about being so caught up in the whirlwind of your endeavor that you neglected other things. I’m a writer, and I love what I do. I spend long hours at the computer and have to be really careful to prioritize. I’ve learned that while many things can be cancelled or put off, spending time with loved ones is not one of those. No matter how intrigued or fascinated I am by my business, I know there is a time and a place for it. Yes, being an entrepreneur especially in a field you love can be lonely, but you three are lucky to have each other. You can combine family and business and have each other’s backs. Thanks for an inspiring read. It’s nice to know others have trod the same path.

  4. Alex London Avatar
    Alex London

    Great story. I’ve brought my family into my business over the years and it’s been amazing for us. We know each other’s personalities and even when tensions are stretched; ultimately we know each of us are there for each other.

  5. LoveNotWar Avatar

    Love you girls so much!! I would love to meet all of you one day, so proud of all you accomplished. When I’m feeling down I look at your page for inspiration. God Bless

  6. Jolene Avatar

    WOW! How inspirational!! You girls are so lucky to have each other!!